Leaving the nest

When I was engaged, I had a theknot.com account. Little did I know that as soon as our wedding date passed, my account would be converted, without my permission or knowledge (OK, let’s not be melodramatic, I’m sure it was in the fine print of some terms of service I agreed to), to a thenest.com account.


thenest.com makes me want to barf. First of all, why does the fact that my wedding is now yesterday instead of tomorrow mean that I immediately want information about how to get pregnant while DIY texturizing my bathroom walls or something?

I finally found the nearly invisible unsubscribe button, and I’m about to. But first let me show you just two of the headlines from this week’s mailing:

  • 8 things you can’t do with a baby Dangle it by its toes? Let it ride your dog? Have it mow your lawn for you by letting it out to graze in the backyard? These are the burning questions, but I’m pretty sure they are not the kinds of “things” they have in mind.
  • The truth about your first married Easter. What could this possibly even be about? What dark truths do “they” never tell you about how Easter changes after your wedding day? Does it have to do with sharing my eggs?

I will never know, because if I click on these things, I am prompted to log in, and I don’t know, and don’t care to locate or re-create, my credentials for this site. Sorry, thenest. Smell ya later.


2 thoughts on “Leaving the nest

  1. Don’t worry, I googled it for us. One woman found out her husband hates Peeps. So glad the Nest is here to answer the questions that plague us.

    Also, pretty sure The Bump sent me an email on our first anniversary, informing me that we were probably trying to have a baby and letting me know they were there to help? Presumptuous AND horrifying.

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