As I’ve mentioned, I finally switched out my summer and winter clothes. For me, this semi-annual ritual is an hours-long, solitary slog. A time for quiet reflection and painstaking labor, after which I emerge, ready to face the new season. Here’s what I do:
- First, obviously, throw Rome Season 1 into the DVD player and PLAY ALL. Why Rome? I’m not sure. It’s one of the few shows I watch over and over and over again. Also, I don’t always want to look directly at all the gratuitous nudity, pillaging, and torture, so it’s good to just to have on in the background while I do something else. It’s not exactly subtle. There’s a lot of screaming, and we all know what’s going to happen. So you don’t miss much if you happen to have your eyes off the screen. If you don’t have Rome Season 1, you may substitute the Les Mis 10th Anniversary PBS special starring Colm Wilkinson.
- Next, take everything out of the closet and throw it on the bed. EVERYTHING, including old bridesmaid dresses and bathing suits and such.
- Methodically try everything on. I’m testing for fit and condition as well as experimenting with hitherto unimagined combinations. When you step back and look at it on its own (preTENDING he’s beSIIIIIIIIIDE me…ahem), is that tshirt really socially acceptable? No? Ok. Well, then what to do with it?
- I divide my clothes into three piles: Keep-in-Closet, Donate, and Pack-Away-For-The-Season. Also Wash, Doesn’t-Quite-Fit-Right-Now-But-I’m-Not-Prepared-to-Get-Rid-of-it-Yet, and This-is-Literally-Garbage-but-I-Can’t-Stomach-Throwing-Away-12 -Pounds-of-Fabric-So-Until-I-Figure-Out-How-to-Recycle-Textiles-I-Will-Hide-it-in-the-Corner-of-My-Closet-and-One-Day-When-I’m-Behind-on-Laundry-I-Will-Cave-and-Wear-it-Again.
- Like I said, I divide my clothes into six piles…..
- Three hours later, right around when Pompey is fleeing Rome, or the multi-lingual version of “Do You Hear the People Sing” is starting, I realize that I’m in way over my head and I haven’t even gotten to my dresser yet, or the summer clothes for that matter. At this point, I stop trying things on and try to just put everything back before Sam comes upstairs because after all it is now after midnight and perhaps he would like to go to bed, if he could find it.
And, that’s it, really! It only takes….half of an entire day. How do you switch out your closet? What seasonal rituals help you gird your loins for winter?